Well, it’s certainly been quiet around here for some time.
When I posted back in April, it was just before I left to see my oldest sister with my family in D.C. The following October, we lost that same sister to cancer. It has been a complicated, emotional situation, and because my updates (on Instagram and Facebook, mainly) were for her benefit – she enjoyed seeing what the kids were up to during their homeschooling – I’ve fallen off with just about everything.
Our business is still thriving, as we figure out by trial and error, how to run an operation its size and complexity. I worked for about four months to help out after some turnover, and now I’m back to home and trying to get back into the swing of homeschool and SAHM-life. I must admit that for me, working was so much easier than the SAHM gig, but for my children and our budget, we end up with little choice in the matter. I know being home with my children is a blessing, but I’m still trying to see it that way.
That being said, I hope to update more often now! I’d love to show off some more homeschool (we still haven’t finished Peaceful Preschool, by the way! oops), and perhaps include some video game reviews and shop updates as well. Still trying to figure out what kind of blogger I want to be – and right now, I’m all over the place. Bear with me!
So there’s the thing. I have so many unpublished posts about “finding my voice” in the mommy-blogging world. I’ve been petrified to publish anything new or out-of-the-ordinary (I have a terrific half-finished review of “Love” on Netflix that I WISH I’d published). Now that there’s been a break in my family, I feel freer than ever. I no longer have people that I feel like I HAVE to impress (though their certain eyerolls still make me cringe), and I think I’m finally ready to find my voice. And it’s messy, unorganized, artistic. This is not a curated mommy-blog – the views are messy. The ideas may be there, but I don’t always have the wherewithal to write them down perfectly. And I’m going not to going let that stop me anymore. My life is messy – and even though someone very important to me once said “maybe someone should make sure their house is looked after (in reference to a blogger’s professed messy portion of her home) before spending so much time writing” – I’ve let it hold me back for too long.
I thought my house and life needed to be perfect before I started other endeavors, which is why most of what I’ve done here has been, well, half-assed. No more. I can’t quite “full-ass” it (a la Ron Swanson), but I can give it my best shot despite the mess. Despite the unfinished floors, and the peanut butter stains, and the overgrown grass. And you’ll see all of it because I don’t have time to curate my brand and my life – it just is what it is. And therein lies my voice.